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“If you switch [from the app] to text messaging, there’s no community support to protect you and it’s going to be much harder for you to get help if there’s ever some kind of issue.” He reminded me “to be thoughtful and cautious about who you share your number with.” Mark Brooks, editor of Online Personals Watch.com, a dating news and commentary site, also cautioned me: “Full verification is not possible outside of actual real world matchmakers who often use background checks.” Brooks added: “Beware of jumping to a third-party form of communication.

Scammers lure people off dating sites/apps, and then scam. Worse, it's beyond the tools that dating apps use to monitor abusive behaviors, for instance, device ID tools and communications monitoring A.

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So I gave him my cell number and asked him to call me about 10 p.m. My new approach: After a volley of chats on an app, I would ask prospective dates to text me.

“That was easy – you gave me your phone number,” he said nonchalantly as I told him to leave, which (fortunately) he did. More than 15% of all American adults have used a mobile dating app or site, according to a 2016 Pew Research Center study—nearly 40 million people—and one recent study found that at least half of them lie about themselves in their profiles (other research puts that percentage even higher).

That was puzzling until I reached out to Thomas Martin, president of Martin Investigative Services, who explained: “Could be a number of factors.

The most common is a burner phone, or they went to great lengths not to have their number in anyone’s system.” (Burner phones are generally used for one reason, such as a drug deal or clandestine relationship, then dumped.) When I couldn't confirm someone’s identity, I backed away.

I had his full name, home address, real age, and more.