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Watching the film, we cried together for almost eight hours straight.It forced us to confront our nation’s painful history, our own backgrounds as descendants of both slaves and slave owners, and come to terms with how being with someone who the world viewed as “different” made us feel.

After deep soul-searching, I resolved to stop dating (and having sex! Needless to say, I spent many a lonely Friday night binging out on ice cream and Lifetime movies.

Those nights were so much more peaceful than any I had ever had when I was dating.

By creating a space to share openly and honestly without judgment, our defenses slowly started to come down.

One day, just for fun, we took one of those DNA tests that can tell you where your ancestors come from.

That night, out of anger and desperation, he brandished a shiny 9-millimeter and pointed it in my direction. Fortunately, I was lucky: he let me go with just a scare.