I will spare you the details because I don't know if they are relevant. Fast forward to a few months ago when I returned home.
I hesitated to see him and did not even tell him I was coming home because I knew I would get too attached if I saw him again.
What he still cannot hear to this day is that I had nothing to hide but I did not want to be friends until he could really learn to be my friend let alone boyfriend. This story has left me at times feeling like I will be fine and other times like I will never find love again after such abuse. Until then I will keep praying and suggestions and feedback are most welcome. In other words, his behavior is a reflection of him and not you. Be good to yourself, take care of yourself, and protect yourself. I finally hit my codependent bottom in 1995 when my then fiance walked out on me. There you will find face-to-face support among those who understand and have been there.
I am doing things to take care of myself but I feel like this man has died and been reborn so many times and has used me and taken me for granted. Is he using this all as an excuse because he wants to be with another woman or women? If you have not already done so, I would suggest finding your local Al Anon/Nar Anon meeting list and attend. Yes, the pain is awful and, at times, all encompassing. Get your hands on a copy of "Codependent No More" by Melody Beattie.
I know it is not my business but knowing would help me move on.