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When I asked her about “Pam,” she said they were in the process of breaking up and were unraveling their lives. You can bet she’ll have an explanation plausible enough for Pam to believe and you’ll look like a meddling nut case.

I told her I wouldn’t be comfortable continuing until Pam knew about my existence. True enough, when the house of cards tumbles, Pam would remember your warning, but by then you may well have been dragged into a melodrama not of your own making and quite uncomfortable to endure.

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Tell her exactly why you love this fact about her and share your own interests and experiences with her.