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They put up a persona instead of being who they really are, trying to back-door their way into a relationship that they feel they could never get if they were honest and up front.

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Our desire to be liked by others is a literal survival technique – the more people like us, the less likely they are to throw us out into the cold to survive or die on our own. One of the insidious things about external validation is just it feels.

We live in a culture that’s obsessed with external validation. Social media allows us to control our public personas in ways we could before.

That’s precisely the underlying issue that The Narrator is dealing with: he has no core. His life is based entirely on trying to mask that feeling with reliant on external validation.

The need for external validation is often the source of a wide variety of dating and self-esteem issues; people who rely on external validation are often incredibly needy, using the approval of others as the measure for their own self-worth.

It’s all a way of getting dose after dose of the thrill that comes from people liking us and thinking we’re cool. The thrill never lasts and inevitably leaves you feeling hollow and empty and each new dose is harder and harder to come by.