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If you’ve been active on a dating site for a while, you know most dating profiles look very similar to one another.

“Okay, here’s the thing,” dont_email_me wrote in his self-summary, “I receive tens of thousands of emails a day and I can’t possibly take the time to read all of them. All I know is, please don’t send me an email if we aren’t at least 100% match and 0% enemies.” Message received. Savanah, age 22, is a mystery wrapped in an enigma. Her picture shows her leaning against the railing of a bridge with sunglasses covering her eyes. Not a lot of skin showing and no clues to her personality.

I’m here to [hedge and say you want to meet new people], and I’d love to [flirtatious invitation].” C’mon, guys, you’re more than the sum of your Netflix queue! To give you some idea of how it’s done — and how it should never ever be done — we’ve compiled the 13 all-time funniest dating profiles out there.

These side-splitting online profiles can be witty, crazy, or just plain stupid, but at least they’re memorable. A lot of guys paint a picture of their ideal date — dinner, movie, makeout session, etc.

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Under the About Becky section, she wrote simply, “I love balls.” Genius.