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If one or two sound familiar, don't beat yourself up.

Just recognize that you deserve better and commit to making a change for good.1. I receive many posts on the Dating Doyenne board from women whose romantic disappointments have left them convinced there is something inherently unlovable about them. I'm sure I'm going to wind up alone."Obviously these women are as worthy of love as you and I. ) But they've come down with something so awful it can keep them solo for years to come: self-fulfilling prophecy, or SFP. But the more one walks around saying, "I will never find love," the higher the odds that expectation will come true.

SFP isn't contagious but it will make potential dates run the opposite way. Contrarily, the sunnier one's thoughts—"I'm such a cool, happy person that I'm bound to find love"—the sunnier the forecast for her romantic future.

If you're among those throwing one too many pity parties for herself, get busy: Start a journal.

"I can't believe I wasted all that time on men who treated me like dirt," she says.

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