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The elderly Asian proprietor of a corner shop in the West London suburb of Southall is stacking shelves when events take a surreal turn. From the back seat emerges a glamorous woman in a figure-hugging dress and skyscraper Christian Louboutin heels.

Mariah carey denies dating eminem

Couldn't she have visited on a better day when I was feeling fine and the house was spruce and tidy?

'Really, you don't need to come - Jasmine's so ill she can't even get up,' my mate Monique had implored Mariah when she'd phoned.

Actually, at the time I was feeling less than hospitable.

Dressed in a grubby old dressing gown and almost delirious with a fever, my hair lank and my face bereft of make-up, I looked like death and felt dreadful.

The area is known for the authenticity of its curry houses, its colourful ethnicity and a distinct aura of edginess and danger at night. While the Press leapt on this foible as evidence of her overweening vanity, it was simply that she was doing what she had been told.