Do yourself a favor and ask potential partners these 18 questions to figure out if he may possibly be “the one.” 1. Not only will you glean many insights about yourself and your own personality, but it can help you consider whether or not you and your potential partner are a good match. Sometimes individuals are emotionally and mentally ready for committed relationships. When it comes to men, they will infrequently lie about what they are looking for, if you dare to ask. This especially applies to dates with non-black men. A man with very rigid ideas of masculinity or femininity best be able to live up to those ideas, or he’ll likely take it out on you or become depressed/despondent when his ability to “provide” is challenged (as it often is for black men in this society).
What are the strengths/weaknesses of your personality type? Personality compatibility is far more important than many think. If he doesn’t support efforts to demand more accountability for police, despite widespread images of black men, women and children being murdered where no one is held accountable — BYE! Do you have a problem with natural hair, permed hair, weaves, braids or any other black hairstyle? According to the NAACP, 1 in 6 Black men have and it is projected that if trends continue, 1 in 3 black men will likely spend time in prison during their lifetime. This does not mean that there is anything inherently wrong with ascribing to certain concepts of masculinity or femininity, but in a society that constantly strips black people from access to those “ideals”, it can become troublesome if that is all one’s sense of identity is built on. Would you have a problem running a household/taking care of kids while a woman worked?
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Don’t let a man use you to hide away his own sexuality. This does not mean you should allow a light-hearted response to suffice. One man may pride himself on recently manicuring his front lawn, another on establishing a food business. However, it is important that we seek partners with whom we share like-minded goals. If yes, what kind of role do you play in their lives?