Or, has something happened in your child’s life, even unbeknownst to you, that is affecting them? She said, “I’m struggling with my daughter who has suddenly become rebellious. And by definition, they are still a bit irresponsible.For instance, she was to meet me after the third quarter of the basketball game, but she didn’t show up until after the fourth quarter and had gone to her locker, which I told her was off limits for the evening.” The mother was quite dismayed, wondering if she should get her daughter into counseling or send her to a therapeutic program like Heartlight for her “rebellion.” My response was, “I really don’t think she is being rebellious. She is impulsive and maybe gets a little distracted, but it doesn’t seem as though it was an intentional plan on her part to make you upset or go against your rules.” I went on to give her some ideas for helping remind her teen of the rules and established timetables. Part of the new “normal” today is the shorter attention spans of young people.Yes, they need to obey the rules and remain inside the boundaries you have set, but I want to encourage you to put their behavior into the context of their lives and not label them as a rebel just because they are acting like a teenager.
Where could they have gotten such an idea that they are “bad” beyond repair?
Could it be how you or others have responded to them? instead of yelling at them for falling in a hole, it’s much more productive to lower a ladder, climb into the hole and show them the steps to get out.
After all, they made the conscious decision to step over the line.
Grounding them for a week can actually be a time where you can build your relationship; you can use the time to do things together.
Most have broken just about every rule in the book.